Friday, January 29, 2010

I came home from my holiday feeling refreshed and invigorated.

I am desperately trying to hold on to those feelings but they seem to be slipping through my fingers. 

I'm sliding back into the cycle of grief, guilt and anxiety.

I am sleeping my days away to escape facing reality. I am feeling physically ill and yet I can clearly recall how healthy I felt in the sun and heat of Cuba.

This is not to say that the vacation was not helpful. It gave me time to realize how I might help myself.

One thing I realized on this vacation - it's time for some therapy.

I have no on/off switch on my anxiety. I don't sleep well at night because my mind is whirring away with random thoughts and worries. As a result I'm not fully awake during the day and so I cannot get anything accomplished. And all the while, through every 24 hour period I am in a low state of panic and strangling guilt.


theminx said...

Oh my, yes, please please get some help.

Laura said...

How are you doing? Just remember you have many folks thinking happy, healing thoughts for you.

Hugs from CA

Heiko said...

Hi Jen,

Thinking of you too. I left an award for you on my blog. Come and collect it. Hope you're feeling better soon.

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