...came in the door very proud of myself this afternoon.
I spent approximately 4 hours in the car with my father - ALONE with my father - which, of course, means I was pretty much totally alone because you don't exactly bond with him in that kind of situation; you're more like a fly outside the window that is his mind, banging it's sad, stupid little head against the glass trying to get in and incapable of understanding that it's completely futile.
So yeah, I was totally proud of myself when I got home this afternoon and I had survived the trip without getting frustrated with him for totally not listening to anything I said and also for managing to make it through the day without feeling like a little girl whose Daddy doesn't love her.
Obviously I am still very aware of, and somewhat sensitive to, his lack of communication skills...but at least I'm not taking it personally.
Hooray for me!
Why did I spend 4 hours in the car with my father? Well, it's a bit of a long story but basically I had to do some long distance grocery shopping for my participation in this month's 24, 24, 24 with Foodbuzz (are you intrigued?) and SeaBass suggested that Dad accompany me - oh don't worry, I already thanked him for that!
So I get home proud, as previously mentioned, and also incredibly excited about my grocery finds and SeaBass, who got to be ACTUALLY alone all day and relax, is acting totally bitchy! Plus, he's showing NO enthusiasm for my finds.
And that hurts. Dad I can take. Dad I am (getting) used to but from SeaBass it hurts not to get the support and enthusiasm I expect. It makes me want my Mommy! She would totally be excited! Even if she didn't get it, she'd still get it because it mattered to me.
Do you guys get it?
Then when I actually wanted to be alone and procrastinate away my frustration, my father comes in the room and starts fixing (read: breaking pieces of) my wine cooler. Not to mention cursing, yelling and banging things around.
Thank you for listening. I appreciate your time.
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