Sugar - Sweetest Dog in Town (Almost happy with it)

So, the deadline for the contest looms near....thankfully because without a concrete end date for this I could keep editing, fussing and generally making myself crazy until the cows come home....speaking of cows, I'd like a cow someday, or maybe two so they could keep each other company and then I could write stories about my moo-cows.

Anyhoo, focusing on any piece of my own writing for an extended period of time makes me a little loopy (read crazy).

Feedback would be much appreciated, especially if anyone out there's got kids.

And before we begin, for your viewing pleasure...my muses:

Sugar – The Sweetest Dog in Town

Whenever Sugar caught a glimpse of herself in one of the mirrors, or in the window where she sat to wait for her humans returning home from wherever they went without her, she was always surprised at what she saw. So surprised that she sometimes “woofed” loudly thinking that the beautiful white dog in the reflection was a stranger on her property. But no, that pretty dog in the glass was always just her, Sugar-dog, with silky white fur, soft floppy ears, and a smiley face. Sugar knew herself to be a beautiful animal. That’s why she was so confused when stranger humans and stranger dogs were afraid of her. Sugar was the breed of dog humans call, “Pit Bull”. This name strikes fear in humans everywhere, and dogs that Sugar met in her travels were not fond of it either. At first Sugar was pleased that humans and dogs thought she was tough and scary. She was never bullied the way some other dogs were. Dogs in the dog park avoided Sugar. But after a while Sugar found this lonely and sad. Humans wouldn’t pet her; they kept their little human pups, called children, far away from her. Sometimes when they saw Sugar out walking they would get angry and use their loud voices to express their fear. Even Sugar’s own humans, who knew her sweetness and goodness, had started to react to the fears of the strangers. They kept Sugar inside or on her leash. They never let her wander too far. They kept her away from the human pups, even though they knew that Sugar loved them best. She loved playing with them and hugging and kissing them. All of this made Sugar very sad. She didn’t understand why all the humans and even the dogs would be so afraid of her because of the “Pit Bull” label. She didn’t think it was fair. So, Sugar decided to do something about it. She would prove to everyone what a good dog she really was. Sugar was usually very obedient. She didn’t enjoy disobeying her humans. But, Sugar was so tired of everyone being afraid of her that she was willing to risk the consequences. So, Sugar came up with a plan. She would sneak away from home just long enough to do a good deed in the neighbourhood. Sneaking was not hard. The hard part was not feeling guilty about it. Sugar simply walked out of her yard one afternoon when she heard the sound of a human pup crying. She followed the sound until she found the child lying on the sidewalk with his bicycle beside him. Sugar knew this boy, his name was Sammy. Sammy was crying so hard that he didn’t even notice Sugar until she was right next to him. Sugar gently nudged Sammy with her nose and he looked up into her brown eyes. He was so scared from falling off his bike that he forgot to be afraid of Sugar. She sniffed him all over. Sugar was a very sensitive, smart dog and could tell someone was hurt just by smelling them. Her nose told her that the bone in Sammy’s arm was very hurt. Sugar knew where he lived and thought she could help by getting Sammy’s mother and bringing her to him. So Sugar gently licked the tears from Sammy’s face, making him forget he was hurt and then she ran as fast as she could to his house. Sugar couldn’t knock or reach the doorbell like a person, so she used her paws to scratch at the door until Sammy’s mom opened it. “What are you doing here? Where’s your leash? Where are your owners? You’re not supposed to be out alone! You’re dangerous!” Sugar wasn’t sure if Sammy’s mother was going to keep yelling or shut the door in her face so she tugged on Sammy’s mom’s pants with her mouth, being careful not to use her teeth. Now, the lady was sure that Sugar was trying to bite her, so, she screamed! Sugar knew that if she could get the woman to follow her she would understand. So, Sugar decided that she had to break a big rule -- go inside the house without an invitation and, even worse, she would take something from the house and carry it outside so that Sammy’s mother would follow her. With her sensitive nose, and her love of food, Sugar had smelled something yummy inside even before the door opened. Now she dashed past the woman, following her sniffer into the kitchen where a tasty looking sandwich sat on the table, probably waiting for the Sammy. Sugar thought back to when she was a puppy and stole food from the table. What trouble she got in! Then she remembered Sammy lying on the road and she did it! She put her front paws up on the tabletop and grabbed the pb&j sandwich from the plate. Sugar ran back out the front door with the sandwich in her mouth. Sammy’s mother stood for a second, totally shocked. Sugar was afraid that she wouldn’t follow her. What would Sugar do then? Just then the lady called out “Hey! Bad dog, what do you think you’re doing?” So Sugar headed down the lawn, making sure the lady was following her. Sugar stopped and turned towards the woman, gently laid the sandwich on the ground and sat down next to it, thumping her whip-like tail in a show of good faith. She turned her big brown up eyes up. They were filled with the hope that the woman would hear Sammy crying in the distance, now that it was quiet. As they stood at the bottom of the yard, a cry could be clearly heard. Sugar could see that the woman heard it and knew it was Sammy. Now Sugar saw a different kind of fear in her eyes, fear for Sammy. Sugar tugged the pant leg again and ”woofed” softly. When she got the woman’s attention she started down the street, stopping every few feet and barking again. Sammy’s mom followed slowly, she was confused about the idea of following this mean Pit Bull to her crying son. When the woman reached Sugar’s side Sugar reached up and licked her hand softly. This time the woman did look into the brown eyes and saw that she could trust Sugar. Together they ran down the street to Sammy. “Sammy! What happened? How long have you been lying here?” Sammy tried to reach for his mother but the pain in his arm stopped him. “Ouch Mommy! I think something’s wrong with my arm.” “Honey, do you think you’ll be okay here while Mommy gets the car to take you to the doctor?” Sammy looked very frightened until Sugar stepped up, licked his tear-stained face and sat right next to him. She looked up at Sammy’s mom and thumped her tail. Sammy said, “I think I’ll be okay with Sugar here.” Sammy’s mom looked into Sugar’s soft eyes and knew it would be fine. She ran home to get the car. Sammy reached for Sugar with his good arm and together they sat and waited. When Sammy’s mother returned Sugar waited until Sammy was safely in the car. The lady knelt down and gave Sugar a hug before Sugar ran home. Sugar was in BIG trouble when she got back home. Her humans had been looking for her all over. They gave Sugar a lecture. Sugar felt guilty and walked into the house with her tail between her legs and her head hung low. But, the happy warm feelings of having done a good deed were stronger than anything else. She wished she could speak to tell them what she had been doing. Later that evening Sammy and his mother came to Sugar’s house. They had a basket of treats and toys for Sugar. Sugar’s parents opened the door and looked confused, “Hi Linda, what’s all this?” Then Sammy stepped out from behind his mother and Sugar’s owner exclaimed, “Sammy! What happened to you?” Sugar sat listening. When Sammy’s mother explained what had happened Sugar came to the door. She was so happy to see that Sammy was okay that it was very hard not to jump all over him. But, she stopped herself and waited for Sammy to bend down and hug her. Sugar’s humans were at first confused and then pleased to hear about Sugar’s activities. Sammy and his mother called Sugar a hero. It made Sugar feel embarrassed but also very happy, and proud! After that day a lot of things changed for Sugar and her humans. The neighbours came to see her often and they brought their children to play. Sugar was invited for play dates with the neighbourhood dogs. Sugar and her humans were very proud of how Sugar had managed to change the way people and animals thought of her and the label of “Pit Bull.”

Sugar – The Sweetest Dog in Town (current draft)

I am completely unsure of this story now. I like the plot and the idea but I'm not sure it's the right thing for this competition, again I feel like the restrictions on length are stifling me. I've got two months left and ideas flying around my head for stories that are based around kind of a moment in a child's life and focusing on the imagination of a child aspect...hard to explain, which I guess is why I'm having trouble beginning to write them...ugghhh, choosing a path and going with it, the story of my life!

Anyways, here's the story as it stands today....and of course a dog pic to accompany it:



When Sugar caught a glimpse of herself in one of the mirrors of her house or in the window where she sat to watch for her humans returning home from wherever it is they went without her, she was always surprised at what she saw, so surprised that sometimes she “woofed” loudly thinking that the beautiful white dog in the reflection must be a stranger on her property. But no, that pretty dog in the glass was always just her, Sugar-dog all silky white fur and soft, floppy ears and smiley face. Sugar knew herself to be a beautiful animal and that’s why she was always confused when stranger humans and stranger dogs were afraid of her. Sugar was the breed of dog humans call a “Pit Bull”. This name strikes fear in the heart of humans everywhere and dogs that Sugar met along her travels were not too fond of it either. At first Sugar thought it was fun that humans and dogs saw her and believed she was tough. Dogs in the dog park went out of their way to avoid Sugar, she never was picked on the way some other dogs were. After a while though, Sugar started to find this lonely and sad, humans wouldn’t pet her, they kept their little human pups, the ones called children, far away from her. Sometimes when they saw Sugar out walking they would get upset and use their loud voices to express their fear. Even Sugar’s own humans, who knew her sweetness and that she would never hurt anyone, had started to respond to the fears of the strangers. They kept Sugar on her leash and inside the house, they never let her wander too far and they kept her away from the human pups, even though they knew that Sugar loved the pups best. She loved to play with them and hug them and kiss them. All of this made Sugar very sad, she didn’t understand why all the humans and even the other dogs would be so afraid of her just because of a label. She didn’t think it was very fair. So, Sugar decided to do something about it. She was going to prove to everyone what a good dog she really was. Sugar was a very obedient dog most of the time. She didn’t enjoy having to disobey her humans in order to prove to everyone else that she was a good dog. But, Sugar was so tired of everyone being afraid of her that she was willing to risk consequences. So, Sugar came up with a plan. She would sneak away from home just long enough to meet some neighbours and change their opinion of her. Sneaking was not very difficult for Sugar to do; the difficulty was trying not to feel guilty about it. Sugar simply walked out of the gate in her yard one afternoon when she heard the sound of a human pup crying. She followed the sound a few houses down until she saw the child lying on the sidewalk with his bicycle lying alongside. The boy was crying so hard that he didn’t even notice Sugar until she was right next to him. Sugar very gently nudged the boy with her nose and he looked up into her brown eyes. He was so scared from his fall off the bike that he forgot to be afraid. Sugar sniffed the boy all over. She was a very sensitive, smart dog and could tell if someone was hurt just by smelling them. Her nose told her that the bone in the boy’s arm was very hurt. Sugar knew where he lived and thought she could help by getting the boy’s mother and bringing her to him. So Sugar licked the tears from the boy’s face, making him giggle a little through his pain and then ran as fast as she could to his house. Sugar couldn’t knock like a human and she couldn’t reach the doorbell so she used her paws to scratch at the front door until the lady opened it. ”What are you doing here? Where is your leash? Where are your owners? You’re not supposed to be wandering around here alone! You’re dangerous!” Sugar wasn’t sure if she was going to keep yelling or just shut the door in her face so she gently tugged on the woman’s pants with her mouth, being careful not to use her teeth. Still the woman was sure that Sugar was trying to bite her and so she screamed. Sugar knew that if she could just get the woman to follow her she would find her son and understand. So, Sugar decided that she had to break a big rule, she would go inside the house without an invitation and, even worse, she would take something from the house and carry it outside so that the lady would follow her. With her sensitive nose, and her love of food, Sugar had smelled something yummy inside since before the door even opened. She dashed passed the woman, following her sniffer into the kitchen where a tasty looking sandwich sat on the table, probably waiting for the hurt boy. This was not easy, Sugar thought back to when she was a puppy and stole food from the table. The trouble she got in! Then she remembered the little boy lying on the road and she did it, she put her front paws up on the tabletop and grabbed the pb&j sandwich from the plate. She ran back out the front door with the sandwich in her mouth. The boy’s mother stood for a second, totally shocked. Sugar was afraid that she wouldn’t follow her. What would Sugar do then? But just then the lady called out “Hey! Bad dog, what do you think you’re doing?” And Sugar was relieved as she headed down the lawn, making sure the lady was following her. Sugar stopped and turned towards the woman, she gently laid the sandwich on the ground and sat down next to it thumping her whip-like tail in a show of good faith. She turned her big brown up eyes up to the woman. They were filled with the hope that the woman would hear her son in the sudden silence when the woman stopped yelling. As they stood at the bottom of the yard, a cry could be clearly heard. Sugar could see that the woman heard the cry and knew it was her son. Now Sugar saw a different kind of fear in her eyes, fear for her son. She tugged the pant leg again and ”woofed” softly. When she got the woman’s attention she started down the street, stopping a few feet down and barking again. The woman came to life and moved towards Sugar slowly, she was confused about the idea of following this mean dog to her crying son. When the woman reached Sugar’s side Sugar reached up and licked her hand softly. This time the woman did look into the brown eyes and saw that she could trust Sugar. Together they ran down the street to her son. “Sammy! What happened? How long have you been lying here?” Sammy tried to reach out to his mother but the pain in his arm stopped him. “Ouch Mommy! I think something’s wrong with my arm.” “Honey, do you think you’ll be okay here while Mommy goes to get the car to take you to the doctor?” Sammy looked very frightened until Sugar stepped up, licked his tear-stained face and sat right next to him. She looked up at Sammy’s mom and thumped her tail. Sammy said, “I think I’ll be okay with Sugar here.” Sammy’s mom looked into Sugar’s soft eyes and knew it would be fine. She ran home to get the car. Sammy reached for Sugar with his good arm and together they sat and waited. When Sammy’s mother returned Sugar waited until Sammy was safely in the car. The lady kneeled down and gave Sugar a hug before Sugar ran home. Sugar was in BIG trouble when she got back home. Her humans had been looking for her all over and gave Sugar a lecture. Sugar felt guilty and walked into the house with her tail between her legs and her head hung low but still the happy warm feelings of having done a good deed was stronger than anything else. She wished she had words to tell them what she had been doing. Later that evening Sammy and his mother arrived at Sugar’s house. They had a basket of treats and toys for Sugar. Sugar’s parents opened the door and looked confused, “Hi Linda, how are you? What’s all this?” Then Sammy stepped out from behind his mother and Sugar’s owner exclaimed “Sammy! What happened to you?” Sugar sat listening. When Sammy’s mother explained what had happened Sugar came out into the doorway. She was so happy to see that Sammy was okay that it was very hard not to jump all over him but she stopped herself and waited for Sammy to bend down and hug her. Sugar’s humans were first confused and then pleased to hear about Sugar’s activities. Sammy and his mother called Sugar a hero. It made Sugar feel embarrassed but also very happy. After that day a lot of things changed for Sugar and her humans. The neighbours came to see her often and they brought their children to play. Sugar was invited for play dates with neighbourhood dogs. Sugar and her humans were very proud of how Sugar had managed to change the way people and animals thought of her and the word “pit bull”.

Sugar - Sweetest Dog in Town (The final installment)

I'm working with a word restriction for this short story submission. It's killing me. But in a good way. It's a great challenge for me to try to keep this story short and simple...I am a wordy writer, so this is good (trying to think positive here!)
So this is the final of the first draft. I'll post the story in full form when I get it edited...and cut more words (painful, very painful). I was going to enter this same competition last year, but I couldn't cut my poor story to pieces. This year I'm determined!

And, here's another cute pet pic to accompany the story. You might notice that this one is not canine in nature. This is my lovely Ringo-cat, most wonderfully handsome, loyal, neurotic cat that ever was. Enjoy!

“Sammy! What happened? How long have you been lying here?” Sammy tried to reach out to his mother but the pain in his arm stopped him. “Ouch Mommy! I think something’s wrong with my arm.” “Honey, do you think you’ll be okay here while Mommy goes to get the car to take you to the doctor?” Sammy looked very frightened but then Sugar stepped up, licked his tear-stained face and sat right next to him. She looked up at Sammy’s mom and thumped her tail on the ground. Sammy said, “I think I’ll be okay with Sugar here.” Sammy’s mom looked into Sugar’s soft eyes and knew it would be fine. She ran back home to get the car. Sammy reached for Sugar with his good arm and together they sat and waited. When Sammy’s mother returned Sugar waited until Sammy was safely in the car. The lady kneeled down and gave Sugar a hug before Sugar headed for home. Sugar was in BIG trouble when she got back home. Her humans had been looking for her all over and gave Sugar a lecture. She felt guilty and walked into the house with her tail between her legs and her head hung low but still the happy warm feelings of having done a good deed was stronger than anything else. She wished she could speak and tell them what she had been doing. Later that evening Sammy and his mother arrived at Sugar’s house. They brought with them a basket of treats and toys for Sugar. Sugar’s parents opened the door and looked confused, “Hi Linda, how are you? What’s all this?” Then Sammy stepped out from behind his mother and Sugar’s owner exclaimed, “Sammy! What happened to you?” Sugar was hiding behind the door. When Sammy’s mother Linda explained what had happened Sugar came out into the doorway. She was so happy to see that Sammy was okay that it was very hard not to jump all over him but she stopped herself and waited for Sammy to bend down and hug her. Sugar’s humans were confused and then eventually pleased to hear about Sugar’s activities that day. Sammy and his mother called Sugar a hero. It made Sugar feel embarrassed but also very happy for herself and her family. After that day a lot of things changed for Sugar and her humans. The neighbours came to see her often and they brought their children to play with her. Sugar was invited for play dates with her neighbour dogs. Sugar and her humans were very happy and proud of how Sugar had managed to change the way people and animals thought of her and of the word “pit bull”.

Sugar - Sweetest Dog in Town (cont'd)

This is a pic of both my puppies Sugar and Dolan. The dog in the story is really a compilation of both of them. The story really addresses the issues we've faced with Sugar but the personality of the puppy I think reflects Dolan. And yes, Sugar is wearing a coat here. She's been complaining about the cold this winter and she loves her fleece!

Cont'd

Of course Sugar couldn’t knock like a human and she couldn’t reach the doorbell so she used her paws to scratch at the front door until the lady opened it. “You! What are you doing at my house? Where is your leash? Where are your owners? You’re not supposed to be wandering around here alone! You’re dangerous!” Sugar wasn’t sure if she was going to keep yelling or just shut the door in her face so she gently tugged on the woman’s pants with her mouth, being careful not to use her teeth. Still the woman was sure that Sugar was trying to bite her and so she let out a loud scream. Sugar knew that if she could just get the woman to step outside her door she would hear her son crying and then she might understand. So, Sugar decided that she had to break a big rule, she would have to go inside the house without an invitation and then, even worse, she would have to steal something from the house and carry it outside so that the lady would follow her. With her sensitive nose, and her love of food, Sugar had been smelling something yummy inside since before the door even opened. She dashed passed the woman following her sniffer into the kitchen where a tasty looking sandwich sat on the table, probably waiting for the poor hurt little boy. This was not easy, Sugar thought back to when she was a puppy and stole food from the table and all the trouble she got in! then she remembered the little boy lying on the road and she did it, she put her front paws up on the tabletop and grabbed the yummy pb&j sandwich from the plate. No time to enjoy the smells though, she ran back out the front door with the sandwich in her mouth. The boy’s mother stood for a second totally shocked in her door. Sugar was afraid that she wouldn’t even try to follow her, then what would Sugar do? But just then the lady called out “Hey! You bad dog, what do you think you’re doing?” And Sugar breathed a huge sigh of relief as she headed down the lawn, making sure the lady was following her. Sugar stopped and turned towards the woman, she gently laid the sandwich on the ground and sat down next to it thumping her whip-like tail on the ground in a show of good faith. She turned her big soft brown up eyes up to the woman. Her eyes were filled with the hope that the woman would hear her son in the sudden silence caused when the yelling stopped and the woman reacted to Sugar’s stopping. Alternate: Sugar made herself move slowly enough down the yard that the woman would follow her, even though her strong little legs wanted nothing more than to gallop at top speed back to the boy. She stopped every few steps and looked back, her little ship-like tail wagging so hard it would make you dizzy to watch it. If the boy’s mother had stopped to look, she would see that Sugar’s big brown eyes were filled with both hope and worry for her son. As they reached the gate at the bottom of the front garden, a cry could be clearly heard. Sugar and the woman turned the corner and Sugar dropped the sandwich to tug on her pant leg again. Sugar could see that the woman had heard the cry and knew it was her son but now Sugar saw a different kind of fear in her eyes. It was no longer a fear of Sugar, it was fear for her son. She tugged the pant leg again and gave a soft bark. When she got the woman’s attention she started down the street, stopping again a few feet down and barking. The woman suddenly came to life again and moved towards Sugar slowly, she seemed to be confused about the idea of following this mean dog to her son. When the woman reached Sugar’s side Sugar reached up and licked her hand softly. This time the woman did look into the brown eyes and saw that she could trust Sugar. Together they ran down the street to her son.

I'm working on a submission for a children's writing competition, taking inspiration from the most lovable folks in my life...the dogs.

The story is really about Sugar, the white dog in the pic above. Sugar's resemblance to the notorious "pitbull" is the issue I wanted to tackle specifically but also the more general growing apprehension of dogs that I've observed. So I thought I'd post the work (keep in mind it's a first draft...)

Sugar – The Sweetest Dog in Town

When Sugar caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror in the hallway of her humans’ house or in the window of the living room where she sat to watch for her humans returning home from wherever it is they went without her, she was always surprised at what she saw, so surprised that sometimes she let out a big “woof” thinking that the beautiful white dog in the reflection must be a stranger on her property. But no, that pretty dog in the glass was always just her, Sugar-dog all silky white fur and soft floppy ears and smiley face. Sugar knew herself to be a beautiful animal and that’s why she was always confused when strange humans and strange dogs acted afraid of her. Sugar was the kind of dog the humans call a “Pit Bull”. This name strikes fear in the heart of humans everywhere and dogs that Sugar met along her travels were not too fond of the name either. At first Sugar thought it was kind of neat that humans and dogs saw her and thought she was tough, they acted frightened and like they respected her, dogs in the dog park went out of their way to avoid Sugar, she never was picked on the way some other dogs were. After a while though, Sugar started to find it kind of lonely and sad, many humans wouldn’t pet her, they kept their little human pups, the ones they called children, far away from her. Sometimes when they saw her out walking they would get upset and use their loud voices to express their fear. Even Sugar’s own humans, the ones whose house she lived in, who knew her sweetness and that she would never hurt anyone had started to respond to the fears of the strangers, they kept Sugar on her leash and inside the house, they never let her wander too far and they kept her away from the human pups, even though they knew that Sugar loved the pups best, loved to play with them and hug them and kiss them. All of this made Sugar very sad, she didn’t understand why all the humans and even the other dogs would be so afraid of her without even knowing her. She didn’t think it was very fair to be judged just because of a name. So, Sugar decided she was going to do something about it. She was going to prove to everyone what a good dog she really was.

Sugar was a very obedient dog most of the time. She didn’t like to have to disobey her humans in order to prove to everyone else that she was a good dog. But, Sugar was so tired of everyone being afraid of her that she was willing to risk consequences.

So, Sugar came up with a plan. She would sneak away from her humans just long enough to meet some of the neighbours and change their opinion of her. This was not very difficult for Sugar to do; the hardest thing was trying not to feel guilty about it. Sugar simply walked out of the gate in her yard one afternoon when she heard the sound of a human pup crying. She followed the sound a few houses down until she saw the little one lying on the sidewalk with their bicycle lying alongside. The child was crying so hard that he didn’t even notice Sugar until she was right next to him. Sugar very gently nudged the boy with her nose and he looked up into her soft brown eyes. He was so scared from his fall off the bike that he forgot to be afraid of Sugar. Sugar sniffed the boy all over. She was a very sensitive, smart dog and could tell if someone was hurt just by smelling them. Her nose told her that the bone in the boy’s arm was very hurt. Sugar knew where his house was and thought she could help by going to get the boy’s mother and bringing her to him. So Sugar licked the tears from the boys face, making him giggle a little through his tears and then ran as fast as she could to his house.

Of course Sugar couldn’t knock like a human and she couldn’t reach the doorbell so she used her paws to scratch at the front door until the lady opened it. “You! What are you doing at my house? Where is your leash?...” Sugar wasn’t sure if she was going to keep yelling or just shut the door in her face so she gently tugged on the woman’s pants with her mouth, being careful not to use her teeth. Still the woman was sure that Sugar was trying to bite her. Frustrated, Sugar thought the best thing to do would be to