Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Next Frontier

Dad arrived home yesterday. Immediately I felt stressed, overwhelmed, and the urge to crawl under my bed, curl up in the fetal position and hide until my Mommy comes home again.

I realized this past month has done next to nothing to reconcile me to life without my mother. Instead I apparently used the time to build up a barrier between myself and reality, a barrier that came crashing down when Dad came home and insisted on starting in with annoying things like bills, accounts to be closed, death certificates to be sent (p.s. never thought I'd be writing on my fridge whiteboard "Get more death certificates" - who knew how many people needed to be informed?)

I am deathly frightened by this next phase. I think it means I can't hide anymore; or at least that it's going to take a lot more effort to do so.


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