Fascinating, I know.
It's the typical nightmare of being back in school and being unprepared. In this version I'm not concerned about exams for classes never attended or having to suddenly take a scary subject like math again (have I ever told you all that I hate numbers and I really, truly believe them to be unnecessary and a form of torture imposed by nerds everywhere?) or, my favourite, finding myself back in high school. I even had dreams about finding myself back in elementary school for a time.
No, this series of dreams involves end of term papers that I can't seem to get done. I'm too exhausted, too mentally drained to complete them.
I remember feeling this way at the end of my final year of University. All of us graduating as Comparative Religion majors (all 4 of us) were experiencing the same complete mental breakdown (mine was more influenced by WAY too much partying and basic self destruction than anyone elses though) and our wonderful profs were good enough to give us all extensions.
In the nightmare, I risk not graduating because I just can't get the damn papers done.
So, why am I telling you this?
I spent the weekend writing my first research paper in 5 years.
Nope I'm not back in school.
Nope I'm not on to some scientific discovery that will make me millions.
Let me preface the rest of this by saying: Plagiarism is bad.
I'm just doing a favour.
Why a favour that forces me to confront my recurring nightmares?
Well, 'cause I'm crazy like that.
And to add to the crazy - it's a topic I have no clue about.
But when you get pimped out by your brother and your SeaBass it's hard to say no.
Also when the favour is for (identity being protected for sake of not getting charged with plagiarism) one of your most favourite people in the world.
Along the way I discovered that I love me some research papers.
I've been using words that I forgot I knew like socio-cultural and heterogenous and "one" in the form of a noun and....I should really excercise my vocabulary more regularly.
I realized that I actually am capable of focusing on research papers and articles...and that it helps if I'm not totally hung-over or recovering from a wild mushroom trip.
Good god, I really was not ready to be in University while there!
I'm letting go of the paper now. I'll admit that it stressed me out. But damn it was fun.
Finally let me re-iterate: Plagiarism is bad....unless it's for someone you love.
Thank you for listening.